One of those days...

It's just one of those days that i'm feeling a little overwehlmed. The kids will be out of school for the holidays Tuesday so I have a lot to get done in a short amount of time. Where we thought we were done with our homestudy (for the adoptions) we have more to do... like a 3rd trip back to the Dr. this time to get a letter writen because a urinayisis wasn't dated. I have to dig up our tax records to make some more copies and at some point we have to make a trip to the courthouse in Pensacola. Every time I think were getting closer little things come up and I realize how far off it really is until we get our children!

Before I got started on my "to do" list, I googled a few words of a verse I wanted to read tonight for family devotion (it's my turn). I googled "whatever is lovely" (Philipians 4:8) and the first thing that popped up was a blog...from a family adopting from UGANDA! On it was a link to a page of Uganda adoption blogs! Sometimes it feels very lonely walking down this path, and very difficult. Most people we know think we're crazy (rightly so, lol). But God reminded me this morning that I am not alone! EVER! He is right there with me. He is the one that asked us to walk this road and He will be the one guiding us the whole way. Many of the things I read this morning were scary, like people who got to Uganda and were granted guardianship but then the child was denied the visa (meaning one parent stays there while the other comes home...with no time frame of when or if they will all be home). But somehow God used all of it as incouragement for me.

2 Corinthians 16-18 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Here are some highlights from some of the things I saw on the blogs:

It's a known fact in the adoption community that if you want your faith to be tested like never before...adopt a child! Why? Because this is spiritual warfare! Adoption is about rescuing children out of captivity--taking them out of darkness and bringing them into HIS glorious light. It is about the Kingdom of God advancing on the earth and many, many children being rescued from the most horrific situations our hearts could ever imagine.

But, adoption is never easy, friends. It can be so challenging (especially in situations like this one)! It takes every ounce of faith you can muster on any given day. It takes courage, a huge heart, obedience, and a promise to your child waiting on the other side of the world that you will NEVER give up on them--no matter what the enemies camp throws your way!

Isaiah 41:10 "Fear not, for I am with you. I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

And we have continued to see some incredibly miraculously powerful things happen...
things I will write down before this year is ended...
we have been privy to so many MIRACLES...
we have stood in the direct oncoming traffic of God's grace...
we have NEEDED Him...
we have been changed...
we have been scarred by Africa...
and we have been left totally off-kilter.

A best friend said it pointedly if not passive-aggressively recently:
"You're so 'activist' now."
I guess I maybe am.
Most of this year's Christmas gifts are Free Trade Approved
meaning no one was harmed to produce what makes us "merry and bright".

Good grief, I never thought of that before! I never even gave it a moment's notice!

I am off-kilter.
I feel paralyzed.
I feel unsure how to step off the speeding train we have been on
hesitant to take a
single
step
away
from this journey because it has been a paradigm-shifting event.

It's like being at a rock concert for an evening
and trying to hear a whisper afterward.
I am straining to hear
but as one friend smirked at me the other day,
I have aparently become a "miracle junkie"
accustomed to seeing something stunning happen
so I
have become afraid to
blink
so as not to miss it happening again.

It's a problem.


And I am walking through it.
I find myself asking the Lord:

"What's Next?"

I am looking forward to my faith being streched! I am looking forward to the miracles I will witness (maybe mostly inside of me). We need Him to come through! $30 THOUSAND DOLLARS being just one of the hurdles. But I trust HIM. I believe His word. I believe He has called us to this and we will not be alone. He is with us. Emanuel!

Make sure to listen to the video I posted. It was on the first blog God led me to this morning!

Merry Christmas!